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Life is an Impulse (Love is an Impulse)

by These Polar Opposites

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1.
I held a magnifying glass to the image on a mirror, thinking details become clearer when closer. When the focal point expands, I'll be a black and white outline of some figure that was drawn in my head. But I think we're close to it, I'm sure we hold it dear, cause I cannot stop revolving around every thought I have about your heart. I held a telescope lens pointed into the empty skies, and I think I miss the stars the most now, out of anything else. And you know there's a train, sweetheart, it cuts this city in half, just like the horizon by buildings. I could see your breath, so you put your hands in mine. No, you're not alone, and I think I hate this part just as much as you do. We built this up so it has to live up to our expectations, holding weight in our lungs only to keep ourselves anxious. Yeah, it was sweet when we met, and it stayed that way the whole time. (We kept it static without trying.) I held a microscope lens to the surface of a picture, thinking details become clearer when closer.
2.
Small Song 02:26
You saw my interest peak right when the spark ignited, and then it sort of died out but I think you are my incentive to touching pen to paper to wait for the effects to set in. Oh, what made you think that I was so cynical that every time you speak, my eyes roll back in my skull and I wait for the noise, you to stop? Cause I'm not, and I never meant to hang you up like that. You know how we never see the beauty in sunrises unless we haven't yet gone to bed? Well I'd just woke up, and I can't ever sleep without headphones in. So when we spoke, I could see your lips move but couldn't hear them. Cause I'm thinking that the walls seem constant, but if you push them, they'll so easily move. Maybe sometime this week, we could sit down to get coffee or to talk, so you can get out of my head. Or we could blow up balloons until we run out of breath, blind each other and ruin the exposures. You'll find yourself in almost every notebook that I've owned for the past year or two. I'm thinking that the walls seem stable but if you push them, they'll easily move. And I think it has to do with breathing patterns, and always needing something to follow. Cause I can rarely ever sleep without some beat keeping my pulse slow. They're always blocking the doorways, making the room small, and by the way, I think I fell back in love with you right after you'd finally gone.
3.
We should become more than just jewelry, or the rose that drew blood from our hands because one day, we'll decide that our hearts are not beating if we're not forming angels in the sand. And I could not have built this if there wasn't such a pattern defined, no, I just listened and rearranged all the brilliant times. Oh, these pills whisper, tell me this whole process and effort is lost, but I will sculpt it, and build something that's perfect for once. And I put it on display in an immaculate glass box. Oh, please just let my body lay, because I think it's done enough. (And what I mean is it never does enough.) We really should become more than some story that was put back on the shelves. No, we haven't seen ourselves in years cause we've laid next to all the tales that we heard when we were little, but haven't heard anything else. And I put together a puzzle, touching ocean to the sky, and every time I looked up at the horizon line, I caught my reflection in the light. And I built a pyramid with everything I own, and then I placed myself up at the pinnacle. And then I put it on display, and from the view I could clearly see a million lenses following me. Please take this weight away. Just take this weight away.
4.
I can trace with my pencil all the lines on this map. I can tell by your posture that you have yet to adapt. Well, we wrote our words and we sang our songs, God I loved those songs. It was clear to see we were not ourselves, but reflections of the ones that we loved. But our voices would be heard like we were shouting at the tops of our lungs, with our throats tensed up, waiting for answers that aren't there. Like the reasons you're scared, or our calm tendencies of starting shit right before we're about to feel free. But maybe that's right. No, we're not allowed to be content with where we are, no, we just have to keep moving. So we tried to imagine someplace else, but we really haven't had any luck. And honey, we tried but if it won't work, well we might just be fucked. Cause I can trace with my fingers all the lines on this map, and I can tell by your figure that are you are not willing to adapt. So you will stay sad as long as you want to stay sad. Yeah, you will stay sad as long as you keep yourself. But our voices will be heard, cause we were yelling into megaphones, and they pick every sound up so carefully choose all your words, I was not ready and I was not willing, no I was not able to move or anything, so I cannot be held accountable, though I'm sorry I wasted our time, reliving bad dreams, I swear I thought they were happening, and I'd like to get better, I just don't know what that means, but if Love was the answer, we wouldn't have this disease. So we wrote our words and we sang our songs, God, I love those songs. It was clear to see we are not ourselves, we're imitations of the ones that we love.
5.
Nothing evil ever looks evil, and nothing awful ever feels awful until something precious proves to be too elusive for our awkward hands, they hesitate and they fumble. Rarely precious things are willing to let us latch on. Oh, we act so entitled (because we are). If this rope wasn't so thin, well I think I would feel more ready to stray a little bit further away. Cause a ball of yarn unrolled to reach the length of the globe when the ends were pulled taut. So we tied a knot and hoped the twisting, bright red wire would hold our bodies in place (fading into the air). You are not gone if I still can form the thought, if I can see your figure, Calm, I try and keep it cool and collected (Like I made you out of clay). I read your name in calligraphy, that's the way you always signed it on a folded paper plate. So far, so good, so stable, no we haven't yet fallen down from our mirror, watch where you step because I think the rope is losing tension.
6.
I know I make myself nervous for no reason sometimes, but I grabbed a notebook to sketch the door while it closes. It feels like I had plenty of time to intervene but instead, I just watched the whole thing while it happened. We went to a silent rave, everybody was wearing headphones, and for the ones who came late assumed the crowd was insane. Because they couldn't hear a single note that was playing, save for static noise but still formed ideas of tempo. And you talk like them and I can't tell whether or not you're being sincere. I think you put yourself in these quiet, fits of panic  way too often. And we purposefully gave ourselves enough time to remove  yourself from these situations. It's just you talk like them and I can't tell whether you read it or you wrote it down. And there's far too many monikers to build likenesses of, so you could easily be forging expressions. It's just you talk like them and I can't tell whether or not you're being sincere. But I think we acted on impulse anyway.
7.
The streetlights poured shadows onto the pavement, and the satellites saw it all. There's so many people, such an absence of life though, making every contact feel fake and dull. We're waking up, the whole World is just now becoming conscious and they have memories trapped in their heads of calendars and camera lenses they held in their hands, when they awoke, they were still holding them. And I'm looking up to the rooftops cause everyone here just stares at the ground, and concrete never was so interesting before. But generations change and I've been left uninvolved, so I guess I'll just try and blend in. Because if we don't keep things up, we will perish under the stars. We might use some of our heads, but I doubt we use any of our hearts. And so we hurt each other. The room is lighting up with every trace from the fire we made, and still the glass is empty. Oh, I couldn't have asked for more than being surrounded by mirrors cause now not even I'm sure which one is me. Every impression born just stems from images alone, so language gets more and more outdated. Which is so fortunate cause every syllable I swallow feels like a breath deliberately wasted. I did, we held so much admiration for the ones who distanced themselves the most. And I cannot wait for space to start to stretch out. After everything's over, our bodies might have dissolved. But still, just try and stay calm, cause they were never us at all.
8.
I woke up to the sunrise and I reached into the air, to block the blinding light and burning eyes. Remember that the room was dark and I remember I took your hand, I felt more wide awake than any other morning. I woke up to the sunrise and you reached into the air, to hide the smile drawn across your face. I left the room and when I looked into a mirror, I was blinded by some perfect, awkward grace. Oh, do you remember the meteor shower and the way we got away with everything, with all the things that we should not have? Cause we were liars, but we were confident ones, so unafraid to move, even though we were still skeptical. Cause I talk in my sleep and I dream with my eyes open, and I speak to myself just to keep some sound alive. Well the moons' glow was so bright that I could not ignore it, it was all I could do, it was a strain to close my eyes. And I swear that the stars had all gone before I noticed that the numbers on the screen, they were flashing and focused on twelve. Cause I sing best when I'm so tired, I can't think straight. But that night was so perfect, so flawless, so carefully held. The hourglass bled out on the tile floor and when I finally found it, I could not feel a pulse. Well the ropes around my wrist, they're only there so that the light won't shift, and leave those hours to vanish in the dark. Oh, do you remember the meteor shower and the way that we would not touch until the sun came up and the nerves had all worn off of us. Because all night, I was counting breaths, just to try and keep with your time, but your heart beats faster than mine. I think this life is an impulse, I think this world in an impulse, I think that love is an impulse, and I think that we were restless. The strings held taut, both ends tied to my fingers, can't you see the Cat's Cradle woven in my hands? And it's a wonder we held ourselves back from what we wanted, cause from the start, we were both so eager for the end.
9.
All along the surface, I wave my hand and quietly, deliberately ask and then answer myself if this is all that there is, and I'm pretty sure that it is, Consciousness trapped in our heads. These ripples never ever intersect, and so we are not made of water. I'm really not resigned to a single description of life, I'm not sure I can push this much further. Speak up please cause I can't make out your voice, cuts short and it falls apart. Try to breathe and stop moving, I need you please to try and calm your head down. Slow your pace, wait for the hate to dissipate and then recede, the colors bleed, could you stop moving? Your eyes catch the light as they start to freeze. These curtains never even touch the floor, and so we might as well cut them down. This light is all that exists of me, silhouettes, black and white sounds. All along the surface, it never quite sits still long enough to notice if it can tell that I'm there. This is just all that there is. And I am not letting it go (it's like confidence draped over our heads). I sing the same three lines all day long over and over, I sing the same three lines trying to locate some closure, or maybe just to catch sight of distant, effortless composure.
10.
I touched each square to my tongue, I'm not sure what I want, Though I cannot wait for this static color to be gone. The pale white I see when I was up gets covered one inch at a time, it's okay, we have all the time in the World, I can tell by the watch on my wrist, I wouldn't wind it if I could stop missing out on all these random segments of time. Hold your breath, this won't take that long. I know, we're all anxious but it's not in our control, take a drink, you should try and calm yourself down. We're so eager but the thread is through and I cannot wait any longer. This paper took so much more time than I thought I had, and I can't say that I'm not mad, but I don't care enough about it. When the stamps are all finally up, there won't be a space that's not covered, and it almost feels like a murder of the walls inside my room. I twist inside my skin every time that I hear your voice (because I'm pretty sure that you're poison). The only reason I pretended to be asleep was so I wouldn't notice any of the Frost or the Fever. The only reason I was so prone to making myself so tense, was only to find the difference. It's 60 in January and you haven't been outside all day because you're pretty sure that the Sun would burn away every trite, cheap word you say. Hold your breath, this won't take that long. I know, we're all anxious but it's not in our control, take a drink, you should try and calm yourself down. We're so eager but the thread is through and I cannot wait any longer.
11.
Don't look down, you'll feel dizzy; it is startling how high we are. Pick a point in the distance, it's so clear, almost feels like we should think this over again. Do you remember the wire that we walked on over the flames? No, I don't mean to evoke all those memories, but it feels like we're balancing, I could swear that this feels the same. We were never fully aware we were conscious. Oh, it would be astonishing to find we were self-reliant. Oh, the ground is so outlying, and if we lose focus, then we fall. And I promise it's deafening; so tense and afraid that the ending feels so far away. But we must overcompensate, I cannot seem to tolerate the constant blind, weight of this gravity. We had never claimed to be rational or understanding, so even when we let ourselves fall, I think we'll be just fine. Poised on this balance beam, collecting weight on our chests, No, we had never claimed to think clearly or to be selfless.

about

Official Release (Digital only)- Tuesday, June 18th.
CD Release- Thursday, August 15th.
CD's are available now at
thesepolaropposites(dot)bigcartel(dot)com
and some record stores in Philadelphia
(Repo Records, AKA Records, Sit and Spin Records, Long in the Tooth Records).

We spent the past several months recording this record in various bedrooms I lived in at the time. I guess it seems to me like a sort of description or at least a very general imprint of what it's like to move through life and to share experiences with people and to make certain efforts to push forward or change parts of myself. I think I move through people too quickly, and I'm probably hard to be around, and I know there's things about myself that might not change. The three of us put an enormous amount of time and effort into making this though, and I love everyone that became a part of it, both literally and indirectly; if you've come into contact with these songs by buying the record from us, borrowing it, downloading it, whatever-- I don't think I can describe how sincerely we appreciate it. Thank you.
-Lucas

credits

released June 18, 2013

All songs written, performed, recorded, and mixed by These Polar Opposites in Philadelphia in late 2012 to early 2013. All songs mastered by Dylan Satterfield (you are the absolute best).

Artwork by Jeremie Rose Wimbrow (awesome Philly-based graphic designer). Check her stuff out. jeremierose.tumblr.com

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These Polar Opposites Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

For booking: thesepolaropposites@gmail.com. Come say hi and hang out and hug Dylan or something. Our record is free to download, take it

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